Scotto - - 2017

Burning Man - A Week of Radical Self Expression

'Burning Man is an Adult Playland', a 29-Hour a day party for a week; A Globally Charged Community in the desert of Northern Nevada.

'You can vacation in say Jamaica and see things that millions have seen before you and millions will see after you...Or you can trek yourself & stuff to BRC and see things that will only be available for one week to see'

Here is an interesting look back at what Burning Man has meant to me and the lessons I have learned each year...

2000 > 2001 > 2002 > 2003 > 2004 > 20052006 > 2007 > 2008 >  
2009 > 2010 > 2011 > 20122013  >  20142015 > 2016 > 2017 > 2018

2005 - When EVERYTHING Changed...
The year started out like any other, I was ON TOP of the world, both day job (Law Firm IT) & evening Teaching (VB.NET)  were awesome.  On the Relationship front, Home life with Kathe was as good as it has been, with a milestone anniversary (15yrs) in March.  I was involved in two Poly relationships, one was going AMAZING and the other was in the toilet, although that was because of the actions of that person's Primary Partner FLIPPING THEIR LID!!

Poly is Monogamy on steroids, where all factors can be blown way out of proportion & emotions run VERY high because of the number of tender hearts involved.  If you cannot control your own SHIAT you will not be very effective in Poly, as I have seen countless persons of both genders continue to dig a deeper emotional hole to live in.

In or around the beginning of March SOMETHING CHANGED,  I am not sure what but SOMETHING CHANGED, in what Kathe wanted, needed or what she was looking for in life, and it did not include me as her Primary Partner.  She had started a relationship with a monogamous Lesbian women and that gentleman they say is that.  By May 1st Kathe had informed me that she wanted a DIVORCE! To say I was SHOCKED, DISMAYED AND MIFFED is an understatement.  The Ultimate Poly Party Foul had happened to me, having your Primary partner leave you for a Secondary Partner.  To say I was DEVASTATED would not be an exaggeration, but that is how LIFE HAPPENS sometimes.  She moved out 3 days later, Divorce Papers filed July 1st

So what does a Poly Person do when their Primary abandons them?  They huddle with the other Poly's in their life and seek support and solace.  I was very grateful for our local Poly group, they gave me encouragement & support for my immediate needs and for a brighter future.

This would be the first time I would attend Burning Man & the Playa without Kathe, without her to help create & maintain PolyParadise.  There was quite a bit of work to do and to be done, I appreciated the Love & Assistance given to me from my other Poly Partners.

Relationship 'A', the one that was going awesome, I thought...Broke down 3 weeks before the Playa as this person realized that she was monogamous. She wanted more than I was able to give, and of course the new reality of my own life (Divorce) was not in her travel plans...Like it was in mine...ROTFLMAO

Relationship 'B', the one that was in the Toilet had sprung up and been given new life as her Primary relationship of 25 yrs dissolved. We were both going through the same Roller Coaster of emotions, and helped each other alleviate the pain we both felt.  Between us there was Chemistry, Geometry & Rockets...Lots of Rockets!!! and then of course there was Burning Man, yeah this was supposed to be a story about Burning Man...

Burning Man '05 was INCREDIBLE...For all the other things going on in my life, the Playa, BRC & PolyParadise are always there, always have been, always will be...

Lessons Learned on the Playa...

  • Do NOT borrow anyone's Camping Stuff!!  Gear I borrowed from Relationship 'A' was not returned in the same condition, though not my fault, but lesson learned...Do NOT borrow anyone's Camping Stuff!!

  • It is incredible what you can accomplish when you have a Partner that believes in you and in the projects you are involved in.

  • Electrical Power is never a given On-Playa, got the Generator quality I paid for as power went down on Day 3.  Investing in the BEST Generator available, regardless of cost is a MUST for '06.

  • No matter how hard I try, there is NO WAY to please everybody all the time, there is always someone who feels left out or ignored.  Many of my decisions or non-decisions On-Playa are done for the 'Greater Good'.  "The needs of the Many outweigh the needs of the Few or the One".

  • It is NOT always easy to get out of Camp or the Village when you are Camp Daddy and On-Playa Contact for 350 people

  • Nobody likes to do Dishes!!

Post Burning Man, Ginny & I moved in together and along with her daughter Julie (.a.k.a WhiteOut) and dog Toby, we have started to come out the other side of 2005 with a SMILE on our face & a Love-Filled Home.

What lessons did you learn from Burning Man & the Playa in 2005?